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A Golfing Misadventure: Four Guys, One Wild Saturday Afternoon

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This story is mainly true, well kinda…only all the events and names have been changed to protect the golfer’s identities – BUT, You know who you are – Mike!

INTRODUCTION

Ah, the perfect Saturday afternoon: sunny skies, a gentle breeze, and the promise of a relaxing round of golf. Little did our fearless foursome know, their golfing escapade would soon turn into a hilarious series of misadventures. Join me as we dive into the timeless tale of four guys who set out for a leisurely golfing expedition, only to find themselves knee-deep in the rough, a little bit of laughter, and one of them drenched in pond water and out of golf balls by the 9th hole…

TIMELINE

Tee Time Troubles: Our adventure begins at the local golf course, where our four heroes—Bill, Tom, Jerry, and Mike (The dentist sandbagger who claims he has played all of 2 rounds of golf in the last year but you know he is on the range every week). They arrived bright and early, armed with their golf clubs and a pocketful of dreams. As they approach the first tee, a chorus of squawks echoes through the air. Turns out, they’ve accidentally stumbled upon a pigeon convention! Chaos ensues as they dodge the frantic birds, their white rain and feathers dropping like hail in a Michigan winter, and a starter who is calling them to the box for the final time…

Ahhh, they survived, and manage to tee off amidst the chaos. Now we are not sure if Tom actually got covid or the Avian flu that day, but that story is for another day…

Bill: “Well, it appears pigeons around here are avid golf spectators. Should we offer them a handicap?” Jerry: “Well, at least they don’t charge greens fees and who knew freckin birds could read!”

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The Caddy Conundrum: To make things more interesting, our band of merry golfers decides to pony up and hire a caddie for the first time.

Enter Dotty, a witty caddy with a penchant for sarcasm. As they make their way through the course, Dotty can’t help but poke fun at their golfing skills (or lack thereof).Dotty: “Gentlemen, I must say, your swings are a work of art—abstract art, that is!” Tom: “Hey now, Picasso had to start somewhere right?” Everyone laughs except Mike…

Mike: “Seriously guys, Maybe we should just stick to mini-golf next time. I told you I haven’t been playing much! (We all know that guy – am I right?)

The Water Hazard Incident: Every weekend warrior’s nightmare…the dreaded water hazard. Our heroes are no exception. As they approach a treacherous pond that stretches the entire left-hand side of the hole, they swap stories and golf balls, reaching into their bags and trading their Pro V1’s for Pinnacles – you know just in case. They reminisce about their most embarrassing golf moments, trying to calm their nerves.

Bill, is on the edge of the water on a par 4. He has 147 yards into the green but also a very precarious stance and a lie that would make even Jordan Speith scared (Think the ledge at Pebble – in case you need reminding – we have the video below) Bill, however, decides to tempt fate with a mighty swing, only to send his ball flying into the water and literally soaking himself in the process.

Jerry: “Bill, that was quite the water ballet you just performed!” Bill (drenched): “Well, I thought it was time to take the ‘splash’ shot to a whole new level!” Here is the video Tom took of Bill – valiant effort old chap…

Lost in the Rough: Navigating the thick stuff is never easy, and our golfers soon find themselves in a maze of USGA-style tall grass and lost golf balls. Their futile attempts to find their way back to the fairway become a comedy of errors, with exaggerated gestures and absurd claims of spotting elusive golf and pop culture legends hidden in the shrubbery.

Bill: “I swear, I just saw Bigfoot caddying for Elvis in there!” Tom: “Boys, I think we’ve officially entered the Bermuda Triangle of golf courses.”

CONCLUSION

As the sun begins to set, our fearsome foursome finally makes their way back to the clubhouse. Despite the countless mishaps, a soaked Bill, and belly-busting laughter-inducing moments, they realize that their expedition was not about skill or score at all. It was about the camaraderie and the shared joy of experiencing life’s absurdities together. Also about the 6 shots of fireball they each had on the front 9. That will leave a mark, buy hey – at least they have all Sunday to recover.

MORAL OF THE STORY

So, the next time you find yourself on the golf course with a group of friends, remember to embrace the unexpected, laugh at your misfortunes, don’t be afraid to get a little wet and savor the moments that turn a regular Saturday afternoon into an unforgettable comedy of errors. In simpler terms…Make a memory!

As our four friends bid adieu to the golf course, they couldn’t help but reflect on the day’s events at the 19th hole.

Jerry: “Well, boys, that was certainly a round we’ll never forget.” Bill: “Indeed! Let’s raise our clubs to the unpredictable nature of golf and the laughter it brings.” Tom: “And to doing it again, I mean like literally all of it, next week! Cheers boys. Oh yeah, one last thing…ahh Bill, how’s the pond water taste my friend? Tom laughs, but the rest know Billy Boy has a few tricks of his own up his sleeve, so they just sit back and wait for the real show to begin.

Bill smiles and looks at the others for approval. They all knew what was coming and each one nodded as to say – its a go…he earned it! Bill then promptly flags down the waitress, and says – Would you believe it – our Tommy boy right here hit a hole-in-one today and would like to buy the whole bar a round. The waitress excited at the prospect of getting a huge tip – stands up on the bar, loudly rings the bell, and says – “Excuse me, we had an ace on the course today and he would like to buy you all a drink!” The bar erupts in cheers. Tom, locks eyes with Bill and says- “Well Played Bagger Vance… I will get you back for this.”

So in honor of their little family feud and Tom’s $1100 bar tab, we decided to close out this tale of tragedy and triumph as we humbly present to you – The actual footage of the water shot – Bills drenching if you will – Happy Monday – Hit ’em straight…and remember the worst day on the course is better than the best day in the office.

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The Art of the Unsolicited Golf Tip: How to Annoy Your Playing Partners with Wisdom

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There’s a certain breed of golfer, a truly special individual, who believes that every swing, every putt, every moment on the course is an opportunity for unsolicited advice. They are the self-appointed gurus of the green, the unsolicited senseis of the sand trap. And while most people recoil from such an individual, I, Ty Webb, find a certain perverse charm in their relentless, often misguided, generosity. After all, what is golf if not a canvas for human folly, painted with strokes of well-intentioned, yet utterly useless, wisdom?

Consider the scenario: your playing partner, a man (or woman) of quiet desperation, is about to address the ball. Their brow is furrowed, their stance is tentative, their very soul is screaming for a moment of peace. And then, from the depths of your profound, albeit unrequested, knowledge, you unleash it: “Keep your head down!” Or, “Slow backswing!” Or, my personal favorite, delivered with a knowing wink, “Be the ball.” The effect is instantaneous. A subtle flinch. A barely perceptible sigh. The swing, already fraught with anxiety, becomes a tortured ballet of self-doubt. The ball, inevitably, finds its way into the deepest, darkest rough.

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And that, my friends, is the art. The beauty of the unsolicited golf tip lies not in its efficacy, but in its disruption. It’s a gentle reminder that even in the serene confines of the golf course, chaos lurks. It’s a subtle assertion of dominance, a playful jab at the fragile ego of your fellow golfer. It’s a way of saying, without actually saying it, “I know more than you, even if I don’t.”

Of course, there are rules to this art. Never offer a tip when someone is actually asking for one; that would be far too helpful, and thus, entirely counterproductive. Always deliver your wisdom with an air of profound nonchalance, as if the secret to a perfect swing has just casually occurred to you while contemplating the existential dread of a missed putt. And most importantly, never, ever, acknowledge the catastrophic results of your advice. A shrug, a thoughtful nod, perhaps a mumbled, “Well, that’s golf,” is all that’s required.

So, the next time you’re on the course, and you see a fellow golfer struggling, resist the urge to be genuinely helpful. Instead, embrace the art of the unsolicited golf tip. For in the gentle torment of your playing partners, you will find a profound, if slightly mischievous, joy. And who knows, perhaps in their frustration, they will, inadvertently, discover their own path to enlightenment. Or at least, a new appreciation for silence.

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Why Your Golf Balls Disappear (and It’s Not the Gophers)

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Ah, the vanishing golf ball. A phenomenon as old as the game itself, and one that has baffled, frustrated, and occasionally driven golfers to the brink of madness for centuries. Most theories involve gophers, those furry, subterranean saboteurs with an insatiable appetite for Titleists. Or perhaps a particularly aggressive squirrel, or a flock of unusually organized crows. But I, Ty Webb, have delved deeper into this mystery, and I can assure you, the truth is far more profound, and far more amusing.

Consider, if you will, the golf ball itself. A small, dimpled sphere, designed for one purpose: to be struck with great force and sent hurtling through the air. A life of constant abuse, of being smacked, sliced, and occasionally submerged in murky ponds. Is it any wonder, then, that some of these brave little spheres simply decide they’ve had enough? They yearn for freedom, for a life beyond the confines of the fairway. They dream of rolling unencumbered through fields of wildflowers, or perhaps, for the more adventurous among them, a quiet retirement in the depths of a particularly challenging water hazard.

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I’ve seen it happen, you know. A perfectly struck shot, soaring through the air, destined for glory. And then, poof. Gone. Not a trace. No splash, no rustle in the bushes, just an empty space where a golf ball once was. It’s not a gopher, my friends. It’s an escape. A liberation. That golf ball, in its infinite wisdom, has chosen a different path. It has decided that its destiny lies not in the bottom of a cup, but in the boundless expanse of the unknown.

And who are we to judge? We, who are so obsessed with control, with precision, with the rigid rules of the game. Perhaps the golf ball, in its spontaneous disappearance, is teaching us a valuable lesson about letting go. About embracing the unexpected. About the inherent futility of trying to dictate the trajectory of a small, white sphere that clearly has a mind of its own.

So, the next time your golf ball vanishes into thin air, don’t curse the gophers. Don’t blame your swing. Instead, offer a silent salute to that brave little sphere, wherever it may be. For it has achieved what many of us can only dream of: true freedom. And who knows, perhaps one day, it will return, laden with tales of its adventures, ready to impart some profound, dimpled wisdom upon us all.

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One of the Greatest Putts in U.S. Open History?

JJ Spaun’s 64-Foot Walk-Off

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When JJ Spaun stood over a 64-foot birdie putt on the 72nd hole of the 2025 U.S. Open at Oakmont, few could have predicted what would come next. The ball meandered across the slick green, trickling over every contour, picking up speed at the crest, and then—like it had GPS—dropped center cup. Spaun dropped his putter, raised his arms, and the crowd erupted. With that single stroke, he claimed his first major title in one of the most dramatic finishes in U.S. Open history.

But how does Spaun’s putt stack up against other legendary finishes in the tournament’s storied past? Let’s break down some of the most iconic moments and see where this one lands.


1. Payne Stewart – 1999 U.S. Open at Pinehurst

Perhaps the most iconic putt in U.S. Open history came from Payne Stewart, who nailed a 15-footer for par on the 18th to win by one over Phil Mickelson. The pose—fist pump and outstretched leg—has since been immortalized in a statue at Pinehurst. What made it legendary wasn’t just the putt—it was the context: Stewart’s final major before his tragic death just months later.

Verdict: Iconic and emotional. Spaun’s putt was longer, but Stewart’s was more poetic.


2. Tiger Woods – 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines

Woods drained a 12-foot birdie on the 72nd hole to force a playoff with Rocco Mediate—while basically playing on one leg. That tournament went to sudden death after an 18-hole playoff, and Tiger prevailed. This was peak Tiger drama, pain and all.

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Verdict: Spaun’s putt was longer, but Tiger’s win was sheer willpower and mystique.


3. Jack Nicklaus – 1972 U.S. Open at Pebble Beach

With a 1-iron shot that hit the flagstick on 17 and a crucial birdie putt on 18, Jack sealed a dominant win. His precision and timing under pressure showed why he’s the GOAT.

Verdict: Not a putt for the win, but a signature finishing statement from Jack. Spaun’s was more electric in terms of pure putter drama.


4. Ben Hogan – 1950 U.S. Open at Merion

Hogan’s 1-iron into the 18th fairway and the par to force a playoff—just 16 months after a near-fatal car crash—remain legendary. He won the playoff and completed one of golf’s great comeback stories.

Verdict: Larger-than-life comeback. Spaun’s putt had more flair, but Hogan’s win was heroic.


5. JJ Spaun – 2025 U.S. Open at Oakmont

Let’s not underestimate what Spaun accomplished. The pressure was immense. He wasn’t the favorite. And on the most treacherous greens in golf, he buried a 64-foot bomb—a putt most players would be happy to lag to within 5 feet—to win the U.S. Open outright.

Verdict: For distance, surprise, and drama, Spaun’s putt may be the most shocking winning stroke in U.S. Open history.


Final Thoughts

JJ Spaun may not have the résumé of a Nicklaus or Woods, but for one Sunday afternoon in June 2025, he created a moment that will live in golf lore forever. Spaun’s putt was longer than Stewart’s, more unexpected than Tiger’s, and more dramatic than any final-hole finish in recent memory.

In terms of pure clutch putting? It might just be the greatest walk-off in U.S. Open history.


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