This story is mainly true, well kinda…only all the events and names have been changed to protect the golfer’s identities – BUT, You know who you are – Mike!
INTRODUCTION
Ah, the perfect Saturday afternoon: sunny skies, a gentle breeze, and the promise of a relaxing round of golf. Little did our fearless foursome know, their golfing escapade would soon turn into a hilarious series of misadventures. Join me as we dive into the timeless tale of four guys who set out for a leisurely golfing expedition, only to find themselves knee-deep in the rough, a little bit of laughter, and one of them drenched in pond water and out of golf balls by the 9th hole…
TIMELINE
Tee Time Troubles: Our adventure begins at the local golf course, where our four heroes—Bill, Tom, Jerry, and Mike (The dentist sandbagger who claims he has played all of 2 rounds of golf in the last year but you know he is on the range every week). They arrived bright and early, armed with their golf clubs and a pocketful of dreams. As they approach the first tee, a chorus of squawks echoes through the air. Turns out, they’ve accidentally stumbled upon a pigeon convention! Chaos ensues as they dodge the frantic birds, their white rain and feathers dropping like hail in a Michigan winter, and a starter who is calling them to the box for the final time…
Ahhh, they survived, and manage to tee off amidst the chaos. Now we are not sure if Tom actually got covid or the Avian flu that day, but that story is for another day…
Bill: “Well, it appears pigeons around here are avid golf spectators. Should we offer them a handicap?” Jerry: “Well, at least they don’t charge greens fees and who knew freckin birds could read!”
The Caddy Conundrum: To make things more interesting, our band of merry golfers decides to pony up and hire a caddie for the first time.
Enter Dotty, a witty caddy with a penchant for sarcasm. As they make their way through the course, Dotty can’t help but poke fun at their golfing skills (or lack thereof).Dotty: “Gentlemen, I must say, your swings are a work of art—abstract art, that is!” Tom: “Hey now, Picasso had to start somewhere right?” Everyone laughs except Mike…
Mike: “Seriously guys, Maybe we should just stick to mini-golf next time. I told you I haven’t been playing much! (We all know that guy – am I right?)
The Water Hazard Incident: Every weekend warrior’s nightmare…the dreaded water hazard. Our heroes are no exception. As they approach a treacherous pond that stretches the entire left-hand side of the hole, they swap stories and golf balls, reaching into their bags and trading their Pro V1’s for Pinnacles – you know just in case. They reminisce about their most embarrassing golf moments, trying to calm their nerves.
Bill, is on the edge of the water on a par 4. He has 147 yards into the green but also a very precarious stance and a lie that would make even Jordan Speith scared (Think the ledge at Pebble – in case you need reminding – we have the video below) Bill, however, decides to tempt fate with a mighty swing, only to send his ball flying into the water and literally soaking himself in the process.
Jerry: “Bill, that was quite the water ballet you just performed!” Bill (drenched): “Well, I thought it was time to take the ‘splash’ shot to a whole new level!” Here is the video Tom took of Bill – valiant effort old chap…
Lost in the Rough: Navigating the thick stuff is never easy, and our golfers soon find themselves in a maze of USGA-style tall grass and lost golf balls. Their futile attempts to find their way back to the fairway become a comedy of errors, with exaggerated gestures and absurd claims of spotting elusive golf and pop culture legends hidden in the shrubbery.
Bill: “I swear, I just saw Bigfoot caddying for Elvis in there!” Tom: “Boys, I think we’ve officially entered the Bermuda Triangle of golf courses.”
CONCLUSION
As the sun begins to set, our fearsome foursome finally makes their way back to the clubhouse. Despite the countless mishaps, a soaked Bill, and belly-busting laughter-inducing moments, they realize that their expedition was not about skill or score at all. It was about the camaraderie and the shared joy of experiencing life’s absurdities together. Also about the 6 shots of fireball they each had on the front 9. That will leave a mark, buy hey – at least they have all Sunday to recover.
MORAL OF THE STORY
So, the next time you find yourself on the golf course with a group of friends, remember to embrace the unexpected, laugh at your misfortunes, don’t be afraid to get a little wet and savor the moments that turn a regular Saturday afternoon into an unforgettable comedy of errors. In simpler terms…Make a memory!
As our four friends bid adieu to the golf course, they couldn’t help but reflect on the day’s events at the 19th hole.
Jerry: “Well, boys, that was certainly a round we’ll never forget.” Bill: “Indeed! Let’s raise our clubs to the unpredictable nature of golf and the laughter it brings.” Tom: “And to doing it again, I mean like literally all of it, next week! Cheers boys. Oh yeah, one last thing…ahh Bill, how’s the pond water taste my friend? Tom laughs, but the rest know Billy Boy has a few tricks of his own up his sleeve, so they just sit back and wait for the real show to begin.
Bill smiles and looks at the others for approval. They all knew what was coming and each one nodded as to say – its a go…he earned it! Bill then promptly flags down the waitress, and says – Would you believe it – our Tommy boy right here hit a hole-in-one today and would like to buy the whole bar a round. The waitress excited at the prospect of getting a huge tip – stands up on the bar, loudly rings the bell, and says – “Excuse me, we had an ace on the course today and he would like to buy you all a drink!” The bar erupts in cheers. Tom, locks eyes with Bill and says- “Well Played Bagger Vance… I will get you back for this.”
So in honor of their little family feud and Tom’s $1100 bar tab, we decided to close out this tale of tragedy and triumph as we humbly present to you – The actual footage of the water shot – Bills drenching if you will – Happy Monday – Hit ’em straight…and remember the worst day on the course is better than the best day in the office.
