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Reading the Greens

Decoding the mysterious art of putting.

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Hello, fellow putt-chasers and green-readers! Today, we’re tackling one of golf’s most perplexing, elusive, and downright sneaky challenges: reading the greens. We all know that putting can make or break a round, and yet the greens have this magical way of leading us astray with subtle slopes and invisible breaks. So grab your putter, put on your thinking cap, and let’s get to decoding the mysteries of the green!

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  1. Survey the Land Like a Pro
    The first rule of green reading is to channel your inner explorer. Walk around the green, squat down at eye level, and give yourself a 360-degree view of the terrain. Look for subtle slopes, the general direction of the grain, and any little imperfections in the grass. Imagine yourself as an intrepid explorer, reading the land and plotting the path to glory. Just don’t look too serious, or your buddies might think you’re looking for buried treasure.
  2. The Art of the “Plumb Bob” (a.k.a. The Mysterious Putter-Dangle)
    If you’ve ever seen a golfer hold their putter up and stare at it like they’re trying to solve a complicated math equation, you’ve witnessed the art of the “plumb bob.” While some argue that it’s more golf folklore than science, others swear by it. The idea is simple: hold the putter vertically in front of your face, close one eye, and let the shaft reveal the slope’s direction. Is it magic? Maybe. But it’s golf, so we take all the help we can get.
  3. Trust Your Feet
    Reading the green isn’t just a visual exercise—your feet can be your secret weapon. Walk around the putt line and feel for any subtle slopes. Trust your feet to tell you what your eyes might miss. Are you leaning left? Right? Feeling a slight downhill? Your feet are like the detectives of green reading. Just be discreet about it—nobody wants to see you doing a tap-dance routine out there.
  4. Visualize the Path (and Ignore the Doubts)
    Picture the ball’s path to the hole like you’re directing a mini action movie. Visualize it rolling along the line, breaking perfectly, and dropping into the cup with a satisfying clink. Close your eyes if you have to, and ignore any doubts creeping in. If your inner critic whispers “This putt’s gonna lip out,” tell it to take a hike. Remember: confidence is half the battle.
  5. Embrace the Speed Factor
    Slope and break mean nothing if you can’t get the speed right. If you’re putting downhill, lighten your touch, and if it’s uphill, give it a little extra oomph. There’s no room for timid putts here—embrace the power of the speed. Get it wrong, and you could be dealing with a nasty three-putt. Get it right, and you’ll look like a genius. (Or at least, feel like one.)
  6. Accept That Greens Have a Mind of Their Own
    Let’s face it: sometimes the green just doesn’t care about your best-laid plans. You’ve read the slope, trusted your feet, and visualized the perfect line… and then the ball takes a left turn that defies physics. When that happens, smile, shake it off, and remember that greens have personalities. Some are friendly, some are downright hostile, and some are just having an off day.

So there you have it, my fellow putters—the fine art of reading the greens. Whether you’re plumb-bobbing like a mystic, trusting your feet to find the line, or simply embracing the unpredictable nature of it all, remember that putting is as much an art as it is a science. So approach each putt with a calm mind, a steady hand, and a healthy dose of humor. Until next time, may your reads be right, your putts be pure, and your greens be kind. Putt on, my friends!

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The Art of the Unsolicited Golf Tip: How to Annoy Your Playing Partners with Wisdom

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There’s a certain breed of golfer, a truly special individual, who believes that every swing, every putt, every moment on the course is an opportunity for unsolicited advice. They are the self-appointed gurus of the green, the unsolicited senseis of the sand trap. And while most people recoil from such an individual, I, Ty Webb, find a certain perverse charm in their relentless, often misguided, generosity. After all, what is golf if not a canvas for human folly, painted with strokes of well-intentioned, yet utterly useless, wisdom?

Consider the scenario: your playing partner, a man (or woman) of quiet desperation, is about to address the ball. Their brow is furrowed, their stance is tentative, their very soul is screaming for a moment of peace. And then, from the depths of your profound, albeit unrequested, knowledge, you unleash it: “Keep your head down!” Or, “Slow backswing!” Or, my personal favorite, delivered with a knowing wink, “Be the ball.” The effect is instantaneous. A subtle flinch. A barely perceptible sigh. The swing, already fraught with anxiety, becomes a tortured ballet of self-doubt. The ball, inevitably, finds its way into the deepest, darkest rough.

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And that, my friends, is the art. The beauty of the unsolicited golf tip lies not in its efficacy, but in its disruption. It’s a gentle reminder that even in the serene confines of the golf course, chaos lurks. It’s a subtle assertion of dominance, a playful jab at the fragile ego of your fellow golfer. It’s a way of saying, without actually saying it, “I know more than you, even if I don’t.”

Of course, there are rules to this art. Never offer a tip when someone is actually asking for one; that would be far too helpful, and thus, entirely counterproductive. Always deliver your wisdom with an air of profound nonchalance, as if the secret to a perfect swing has just casually occurred to you while contemplating the existential dread of a missed putt. And most importantly, never, ever, acknowledge the catastrophic results of your advice. A shrug, a thoughtful nod, perhaps a mumbled, “Well, that’s golf,” is all that’s required.

So, the next time you’re on the course, and you see a fellow golfer struggling, resist the urge to be genuinely helpful. Instead, embrace the art of the unsolicited golf tip. For in the gentle torment of your playing partners, you will find a profound, if slightly mischievous, joy. And who knows, perhaps in their frustration, they will, inadvertently, discover their own path to enlightenment. Or at least, a new appreciation for silence.

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Why Your Golf Balls Disappear (and It’s Not the Gophers)

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Ah, the vanishing golf ball. A phenomenon as old as the game itself, and one that has baffled, frustrated, and occasionally driven golfers to the brink of madness for centuries. Most theories involve gophers, those furry, subterranean saboteurs with an insatiable appetite for Titleists. Or perhaps a particularly aggressive squirrel, or a flock of unusually organized crows. But I, Ty Webb, have delved deeper into this mystery, and I can assure you, the truth is far more profound, and far more amusing.

Consider, if you will, the golf ball itself. A small, dimpled sphere, designed for one purpose: to be struck with great force and sent hurtling through the air. A life of constant abuse, of being smacked, sliced, and occasionally submerged in murky ponds. Is it any wonder, then, that some of these brave little spheres simply decide they’ve had enough? They yearn for freedom, for a life beyond the confines of the fairway. They dream of rolling unencumbered through fields of wildflowers, or perhaps, for the more adventurous among them, a quiet retirement in the depths of a particularly challenging water hazard.

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I’ve seen it happen, you know. A perfectly struck shot, soaring through the air, destined for glory. And then, poof. Gone. Not a trace. No splash, no rustle in the bushes, just an empty space where a golf ball once was. It’s not a gopher, my friends. It’s an escape. A liberation. That golf ball, in its infinite wisdom, has chosen a different path. It has decided that its destiny lies not in the bottom of a cup, but in the boundless expanse of the unknown.

And who are we to judge? We, who are so obsessed with control, with precision, with the rigid rules of the game. Perhaps the golf ball, in its spontaneous disappearance, is teaching us a valuable lesson about letting go. About embracing the unexpected. About the inherent futility of trying to dictate the trajectory of a small, white sphere that clearly has a mind of its own.

So, the next time your golf ball vanishes into thin air, don’t curse the gophers. Don’t blame your swing. Instead, offer a silent salute to that brave little sphere, wherever it may be. For it has achieved what many of us can only dream of: true freedom. And who knows, perhaps one day, it will return, laden with tales of its adventures, ready to impart some profound, dimpled wisdom upon us all.

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One of the Greatest Putts in U.S. Open History?

JJ Spaun’s 64-Foot Walk-Off

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When JJ Spaun stood over a 64-foot birdie putt on the 72nd hole of the 2025 U.S. Open at Oakmont, few could have predicted what would come next. The ball meandered across the slick green, trickling over every contour, picking up speed at the crest, and then—like it had GPS—dropped center cup. Spaun dropped his putter, raised his arms, and the crowd erupted. With that single stroke, he claimed his first major title in one of the most dramatic finishes in U.S. Open history.

But how does Spaun’s putt stack up against other legendary finishes in the tournament’s storied past? Let’s break down some of the most iconic moments and see where this one lands.


1. Payne Stewart – 1999 U.S. Open at Pinehurst

Perhaps the most iconic putt in U.S. Open history came from Payne Stewart, who nailed a 15-footer for par on the 18th to win by one over Phil Mickelson. The pose—fist pump and outstretched leg—has since been immortalized in a statue at Pinehurst. What made it legendary wasn’t just the putt—it was the context: Stewart’s final major before his tragic death just months later.

Verdict: Iconic and emotional. Spaun’s putt was longer, but Stewart’s was more poetic.


2. Tiger Woods – 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines

Woods drained a 12-foot birdie on the 72nd hole to force a playoff with Rocco Mediate—while basically playing on one leg. That tournament went to sudden death after an 18-hole playoff, and Tiger prevailed. This was peak Tiger drama, pain and all.

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Verdict: Spaun’s putt was longer, but Tiger’s win was sheer willpower and mystique.


3. Jack Nicklaus – 1972 U.S. Open at Pebble Beach

With a 1-iron shot that hit the flagstick on 17 and a crucial birdie putt on 18, Jack sealed a dominant win. His precision and timing under pressure showed why he’s the GOAT.

Verdict: Not a putt for the win, but a signature finishing statement from Jack. Spaun’s was more electric in terms of pure putter drama.


4. Ben Hogan – 1950 U.S. Open at Merion

Hogan’s 1-iron into the 18th fairway and the par to force a playoff—just 16 months after a near-fatal car crash—remain legendary. He won the playoff and completed one of golf’s great comeback stories.

Verdict: Larger-than-life comeback. Spaun’s putt had more flair, but Hogan’s win was heroic.


5. JJ Spaun – 2025 U.S. Open at Oakmont

Let’s not underestimate what Spaun accomplished. The pressure was immense. He wasn’t the favorite. And on the most treacherous greens in golf, he buried a 64-foot bomb—a putt most players would be happy to lag to within 5 feet—to win the U.S. Open outright.

Verdict: For distance, surprise, and drama, Spaun’s putt may be the most shocking winning stroke in U.S. Open history.


Final Thoughts

JJ Spaun may not have the résumé of a Nicklaus or Woods, but for one Sunday afternoon in June 2025, he created a moment that will live in golf lore forever. Spaun’s putt was longer than Stewart’s, more unexpected than Tiger’s, and more dramatic than any final-hole finish in recent memory.

In terms of pure clutch putting? It might just be the greatest walk-off in U.S. Open history.


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