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The Secret Guide to Sneaking into the Masters

A Hole-in-One Strategy:
Have you ever dreamt of witnessing the hallowed grounds of Augusta National, soaking in the aura of golf legends past and present without the hefty price tag? Well, hold onto your golf hats, because we’re diving into the whimsical, and entirely hypothetical, guide to sneaking into the Masters Golf Tournament. Remember, this guide is strictly for entertainment purposes. We do not endorse or encourage trespassing or breaking any laws. Now, with our disclaimer out of the way, let’s tee off!
1. Mastering the Art of Camouflage
First and foremost, blending in is key. And what better way to do so than donning a meticulously maintained green jacket? Sure, it’s the trophy for the winners, but in this context, it’s your ticket to invisibility. Stroll confidently past security, nodding sagely to anyone who catches your eye, as if you’re reminiscing about that one time you helped Tiger Woods choose his club.
2. The Caddie Conundrum
If the green jacket is too bold a move, why not try the humble approach? Dress up as a caddie. All you need is a white jumpsuit and an encyclopedic knowledge of every blade of grass on the course. Carry an empty bag to avoid unnecessary strain; you’re here to spectate, not participate. Bonus points if you can spout random golf facts to anyone within earshot.
3. Tunneling Triumph
For the more industrious fans, start digging your tunnel now for next year’s tournament. Begin in your backyard, aim in the general direction of Augusta, and dig with the determination of a groundhog on a mission. Not only is this approach subtle, but you’ll also get a free workout, avoiding those pricey gym memberships.
4. The Drone Decoy
Invest in a drone that’s been custom-painted to look like a golf ball. Fly it over the fences and into the tournament. Then, simply follow the flying faux-golf ball using your tablet or smartphone. You might not get the green grass beneath your feet, but you’ll get a bird’s-eye view without the risk of getting your wingtips dirty.
5. The Ol’ Switcheroo
Befriend a golfer (easier said than done, we know) and convince them to swap places with you for a day. They get to escape the pressure of the tournament, and you get to live your dream of walking the course. Disclaimer: You may need to hit a few balls, so a basic understanding of golf is probably required unless you’re aiming for the most memorable blooper in Masters history.
6. The Social Media Mirage
Create a buzz online about a fake, exclusive event happening simultaneously with the Masters. Something along the lines of “The First Annual Augusta Mini-Golf Extravaganza.” It’s so bizarre, it just might work. While everyone is scratching their heads, trying to find the mini-golf, you sneak onto the real greens.
7. Operation: Wildlife Whisperer
Lastly, if all else fails, dress up as the most convincing squirrel costume you can find. Who would suspect a fluffy-tailed creature scampering across the course? Just avoid any overly friendly dogs, and you should have a clear path to golfing glory.
In conclusion, while we hope this guide has entertained and perhaps inspired daydreams of golf grandeur, we encourage you to pursue your Masters dreams through the front gate (with a ticket in hand). After all, the true joy of golf lies not in the sneaking, but in the shared love of the game. Happy spectating, and may your golf dreams always land on the fairway!
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The Art of the Unsolicited Golf Tip: How to Annoy Your Playing Partners with Wisdom

There’s a certain breed of golfer, a truly special individual, who believes that every swing, every putt, every moment on the course is an opportunity for unsolicited advice. They are the self-appointed gurus of the green, the unsolicited senseis of the sand trap. And while most people recoil from such an individual, I, Ty Webb, find a certain perverse charm in their relentless, often misguided, generosity. After all, what is golf if not a canvas for human folly, painted with strokes of well-intentioned, yet utterly useless, wisdom?
Consider the scenario: your playing partner, a man (or woman) of quiet desperation, is about to address the ball. Their brow is furrowed, their stance is tentative, their very soul is screaming for a moment of peace. And then, from the depths of your profound, albeit unrequested, knowledge, you unleash it: “Keep your head down!” Or, “Slow backswing!” Or, my personal favorite, delivered with a knowing wink, “Be the ball.” The effect is instantaneous. A subtle flinch. A barely perceptible sigh. The swing, already fraught with anxiety, becomes a tortured ballet of self-doubt. The ball, inevitably, finds its way into the deepest, darkest rough.
And that, my friends, is the art. The beauty of the unsolicited golf tip lies not in its efficacy, but in its disruption. It’s a gentle reminder that even in the serene confines of the golf course, chaos lurks. It’s a subtle assertion of dominance, a playful jab at the fragile ego of your fellow golfer. It’s a way of saying, without actually saying it, “I know more than you, even if I don’t.”
Of course, there are rules to this art. Never offer a tip when someone is actually asking for one; that would be far too helpful, and thus, entirely counterproductive. Always deliver your wisdom with an air of profound nonchalance, as if the secret to a perfect swing has just casually occurred to you while contemplating the existential dread of a missed putt. And most importantly, never, ever, acknowledge the catastrophic results of your advice. A shrug, a thoughtful nod, perhaps a mumbled, “Well, that’s golf,” is all that’s required.
So, the next time you’re on the course, and you see a fellow golfer struggling, resist the urge to be genuinely helpful. Instead, embrace the art of the unsolicited golf tip. For in the gentle torment of your playing partners, you will find a profound, if slightly mischievous, joy. And who knows, perhaps in their frustration, they will, inadvertently, discover their own path to enlightenment. Or at least, a new appreciation for silence.
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Why Your Golf Balls Disappear (and It’s Not the Gophers)

Ah, the vanishing golf ball. A phenomenon as old as the game itself, and one that has baffled, frustrated, and occasionally driven golfers to the brink of madness for centuries. Most theories involve gophers, those furry, subterranean saboteurs with an insatiable appetite for Titleists. Or perhaps a particularly aggressive squirrel, or a flock of unusually organized crows. But I, Ty Webb, have delved deeper into this mystery, and I can assure you, the truth is far more profound, and far more amusing.
Consider, if you will, the golf ball itself. A small, dimpled sphere, designed for one purpose: to be struck with great force and sent hurtling through the air. A life of constant abuse, of being smacked, sliced, and occasionally submerged in murky ponds. Is it any wonder, then, that some of these brave little spheres simply decide they’ve had enough? They yearn for freedom, for a life beyond the confines of the fairway. They dream of rolling unencumbered through fields of wildflowers, or perhaps, for the more adventurous among them, a quiet retirement in the depths of a particularly challenging water hazard.
I’ve seen it happen, you know. A perfectly struck shot, soaring through the air, destined for glory. And then, poof. Gone. Not a trace. No splash, no rustle in the bushes, just an empty space where a golf ball once was. It’s not a gopher, my friends. It’s an escape. A liberation. That golf ball, in its infinite wisdom, has chosen a different path. It has decided that its destiny lies not in the bottom of a cup, but in the boundless expanse of the unknown.

And who are we to judge? We, who are so obsessed with control, with precision, with the rigid rules of the game. Perhaps the golf ball, in its spontaneous disappearance, is teaching us a valuable lesson about letting go. About embracing the unexpected. About the inherent futility of trying to dictate the trajectory of a small, white sphere that clearly has a mind of its own.
So, the next time your golf ball vanishes into thin air, don’t curse the gophers. Don’t blame your swing. Instead, offer a silent salute to that brave little sphere, wherever it may be. For it has achieved what many of us can only dream of: true freedom. And who knows, perhaps one day, it will return, laden with tales of its adventures, ready to impart some profound, dimpled wisdom upon us all.

When JJ Spaun stood over a 64-foot birdie putt on the 72nd hole of the 2025 U.S. Open at Oakmont, few could have predicted what would come next. The ball meandered across the slick green, trickling over every contour, picking up speed at the crest, and then—like it had GPS—dropped center cup. Spaun dropped his putter, raised his arms, and the crowd erupted. With that single stroke, he claimed his first major title in one of the most dramatic finishes in U.S. Open history.
But how does Spaun’s putt stack up against other legendary finishes in the tournament’s storied past? Let’s break down some of the most iconic moments and see where this one lands.
1. Payne Stewart – 1999 U.S. Open at Pinehurst
Perhaps the most iconic putt in U.S. Open history came from Payne Stewart, who nailed a 15-footer for par on the 18th to win by one over Phil Mickelson. The pose—fist pump and outstretched leg—has since been immortalized in a statue at Pinehurst. What made it legendary wasn’t just the putt—it was the context: Stewart’s final major before his tragic death just months later.
Verdict: Iconic and emotional. Spaun’s putt was longer, but Stewart’s was more poetic.
2. Tiger Woods – 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines
Woods drained a 12-foot birdie on the 72nd hole to force a playoff with Rocco Mediate—while basically playing on one leg. That tournament went to sudden death after an 18-hole playoff, and Tiger prevailed. This was peak Tiger drama, pain and all.
Verdict: Spaun’s putt was longer, but Tiger’s win was sheer willpower and mystique.
3. Jack Nicklaus – 1972 U.S. Open at Pebble Beach
With a 1-iron shot that hit the flagstick on 17 and a crucial birdie putt on 18, Jack sealed a dominant win. His precision and timing under pressure showed why he’s the GOAT.
Verdict: Not a putt for the win, but a signature finishing statement from Jack. Spaun’s was more electric in terms of pure putter drama.
4. Ben Hogan – 1950 U.S. Open at Merion
Hogan’s 1-iron into the 18th fairway and the par to force a playoff—just 16 months after a near-fatal car crash—remain legendary. He won the playoff and completed one of golf’s great comeback stories.
Verdict: Larger-than-life comeback. Spaun’s putt had more flair, but Hogan’s win was heroic.
5. JJ Spaun – 2025 U.S. Open at Oakmont
Let’s not underestimate what Spaun accomplished. The pressure was immense. He wasn’t the favorite. And on the most treacherous greens in golf, he buried a 64-foot bomb—a putt most players would be happy to lag to within 5 feet—to win the U.S. Open outright.
Verdict: For distance, surprise, and drama, Spaun’s putt may be the most shocking winning stroke in U.S. Open history.
Final Thoughts
JJ Spaun may not have the résumé of a Nicklaus or Woods, but for one Sunday afternoon in June 2025, he created a moment that will live in golf lore forever. Spaun’s putt was longer than Stewart’s, more unexpected than Tiger’s, and more dramatic than any final-hole finish in recent memory.
In terms of pure clutch putting? It might just be the greatest walk-off in U.S. Open history.
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